We congulate you on your acquisition of this finely-crafted reality system. You have chosen a modern and well-balanced reality, made exclusively from time-tested materials, and skillfully developed by honoured craftsmen. We hope that your reality will provide you with many years of enjoyment and pleasure.
It has been our company's policy not to offer guarantees on our products, as this can lead to self-contradictions in many realities for which 'guarantee' is a logical impossibility. Reality breakdown is a serious problem, particularly for those whose reality has served them well for a long period of time. In many realities there is an emotion akin to 'stress' which is often felt to an extreme degree upon the slightest flaw in their reality. In an effort to minimise this problem, we offer you the following guide for use if your reality is breaks down or is any way damaged.
(1) Don't panic. Panicking may not be a meaningful concept in a damaged or completely broken reality. Inconsequential worrying may be useful : if it is still possible to worry, then your reality might not be too seriously damaged. However, if even a slight agitation is meaningless then you are strongly advised to employ an emergency reality as your original reality is likely to be beyond repair.
(3) Ask the nearest sentient (or communicative) being for a loan of a spare reality (if he/she/it/none of the above/all of the above has one). This concept may seem a little strange at first. Keep in mind that if reality has broken down then such concepts as 'spare reality' as quite possible.
N.B. Never ask for a loan of a spare reality while your current one is even partially working - the other being may not be able to understand what you mean, and the ensuing confusion can damage an otherwise perfectly adequate reality.
(4) Take your reality to the nearest repair station. This too may seem a strange concept at first, but likewise, if reality has broken down then 'reality repair' is as meaningful as anything else. Note that this means that it is almost impossible for reality to break down entirely and irreperably - provided that 'reality repair' becomes meaningful after 'impossible' and 'irreperable' have become meaningless, then your reality will be able to be repaired. Sometimes it is advisable to wait to service a reality until 'money' and 'weath' become meaningless, as this way the serviceman won't charge you in any meaningful way.
(2) It might be advisable at this stage to read any instructions which came with your reality, as these often include some helpful hints for situations such as this. Some manufacturers tend to include their instructions within the reality itself, disguising it in some very unsubtle way. These are often